Recently I have been enjoying a bout of writers block; it tasted slightly of metallic book coating. The flavor I remember well from my earliest memories as a child when I would bite the bindings on the books that had a metallic coated binding. I’m pretty sure they don’t make these anymore because of kids like me. Perhaps something in that metal has led to a bit of the mental state I find myself in presently. Thankfully though the other day I was having lunch with a colleague of mine and we stumbled into topics weightier than should be discussed over a Taco Bell lunch. During this conversation I discovered that he had recently taken my advice and signed up for Netflix Rental service. Those of you reading this should sign up for this service if you have not already, it’s the only sane thing to do and here is why. Netflix is better than god! My colleague and I delved into the intuitive nature of Netflix recommendation software and discovered a valuable lesson. God doesn’t answer any questions or recommendations you pose to s\him. (That’s right I used the famous “s\him” because though I don’t believe in a higher power I believe in equal rights to both sexes.) We set about discussing the two, God and Netflix and this is what we came to agree upon. God when prayed to offers no audible or visual advice nor direction. Netflix offers recommended movies based on any search you might submit but also based upon your viewing habits. God does not greet you warmly every time you return to your knees with a conversation about things that might make your life happier or more fulfilled. Netflix both greets you and warmly suggest movies, TV shows, documentaries and other things upon opening the web page. When a person asks god to give them understanding of Islam or some specific thing in the Middle East one is met with utter silence. Netflix though offers a wealth of knowledge collected and amassed for a person to expand their understanding of a topic in both visually pleasing and informative ways. God when beseeched to lift ones spirits often responds with a vacant empty void of none interaction. Netflix on the other hand offers you comedies that it knows you will find pleasing because it has a relationship with you that is both active and caring. God demands that you give up ten percent of your earnings to him and his church in return for a promise based upon fantasy and mythical tales of what lies beyond the grave. Netflix asks that you support them by offering ten dollars a month to assist in paying for the infrastructure they need to continue offering the quality movies and entertainment from around the globe delivered right to your PC, gaming console and mailbox. God hasn’t written a letter ever, not even the bible was written by its hand; only the scribbling of a nomadic people that have suffered delusions of ownership to an arid strip of land in the Middle East. Netflix sends emails asking about my personal opinion on the service they provide, emails on my birthday wishing me pleasantries; Netflix even emails me to let me know that it is time for the monthly billing. Much more than I can say for the Christian god who simply expects you to remember to deposit a substantial portion of ones earnings into a pastors pocket book in the name of a god who never sends a email asking about the quality of the sermon preached in his\her name. For yours truly I feel that Netflix has a much more active interest in my daily life than does god. It offers me great comfort when I come to it in my time of need. Netflix offers me guidance in things that peak my interest and communicates with me often and always leaves me feeling like I truly matter. God has not offered me any of these things in the thirty years of my life. Netflix has in these respects been much more god like than... well god.
By the end of our lunch my colleague and I not only agreed that Netflix was an amazing service for a great price, but that it offered us a real comfort that churches haven’t offered me or him. So I recommend that starting today we each start attending The Church of Netflix! Its slogan can be "Cheaper, faster and more interactive than your regular god!" I will be attending often and hope you will too.
Until next time.
Adam
